So
the other day I ran into this man that is an acquaintance. I know who he is but have never really talk
to him before. We started talking and
everything was going along perfectly fine when suddenly in the middle of him
telling me something I got that dreaded feeling, an oncoming hot flash. I could feel myself getting hotter and
hotter. I knew I was turning red and I
just kept thinking “oh my gosh what is this man thinking, he can see I am
turning bright red. He must think I am
blushing. Why am I blushing, what does
he think I am thinking about that would make me blush in front of him.” Then of course the sweating started and I don’t
mean perspiring, I mean SWEATING. I have
two layers on so I casually try to take the outer layer off because it’s only
adding to my sweating problem but now it just looks like I am stripping in
front of him. The curls that were once
in my hair are now falling out and my hair is starting to cling to my neck, I
am trying to wipe the sweat from my face in a non-obvious way before it starts
dripping. I have to keep wiping under my
eyes to make sure my mascara isn’t smudging due to all the sweating and my
cloths that once fit me properly are now clinging to me like shrink wrap
because my entire body has become covered in a paste like sweat.
And to top it all off a nice anxiety attack
has accompanied the hot flash so as I stand there try to carry on a
conversation with a smile on my face acting as if everything was perfectly
normal, inside I was screaming and crying because my whole world was coming to
an end and it was all ruined and the situation was horrible. What was ruined or what situation was
horrible, I don’t know, that just how it is with these anxiety attacks. Your totally devastated over something, your
just not sure what that something is. I
should have just said I was having a hot flash but I didn’t instead there I
stood, in front of a man I barely know, red faced, sweaty, taking my clothes
off, and on the verge of crying, trying to carry on a conversation with him
acting as if nothing was happening. What
I wouldn’t give to know what he was thinking.
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